


"5 minutes 30 seconds"

by Miru_Ahiru



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Bad English, Character Death, Diary/Journal, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-17 00:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14176845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miru_Ahiru/pseuds/Miru_Ahiru
Summary: A sad thought diary - or something like that - and it's consequences in life.~





	"5 minutes 30 seconds"

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader,
> 
> Please note that I'm not a native speaker so my grammar is not the best. I tried to make it enjoyable. I hope you will enjoy my first try even though it's not a happy story.

  **Aoi**

_5 minutes 30 seconds. That's what life is about. For whom how much happiness got from this, everyone decides it themselves. I only got 30 seconds. But this short time has always remained for me and it was more beautiful than ever... Did my dream come true during this time? Yes, it has come true and has made my life bitter. There are dreams that bring you more suffering than pleasure. My dream was like that._

 

**Uruha**

_People always notice the things or people who are important to them after they've lost them ... This stupid thing! This idea comes from the person who did not have anything in his life, but he had to find something or someone, and a long-lost object or a dead person came to his decision not to have to deal with it. Why do I think so?_  
_Because I see people who are important to me, and I know who they are. My family, because of them I have so much homesickness during the tours. And I have not lost them, and I see and feel that they are important to me. My friends, the band, the fans and of course myself!_  
_Health is important. That's why I use red drinks for breakfast. A little tomato juice and other healthy red fruits are perfect for breakfast! Many reds increase red blood cells and make good blood circulation. This is the minimum what I can do for myself in today's world. And I do that too! I do not want to be the oldest! Good, of course, I'm not, but I understand what's really important in our work._

 

**Aoi**

_Slowly the coffee neither does help me. This little kid takes all my time without notice. But what can I do if I like sharing things with fans? Although, I know there is a blog there, but there are people in the world who cannot read it, but for me, they are just as important and they can reach me. I cannot do it that I'm up until the morning so I cannot take the practice with a couple of hours of sleep._  
_Some people how can be so unintentional? What are they imagining of themselves? Why is it good to write in another name? Somehow I will never be able to get it. Not to mention intimate issues ... People are crazy, they think too much of themselves. They passed a little to the other side of the horse._

 

**Uruha**

_Well, I cannot believe this; Yuu could really handle it now. I do not know how many times it happens when he falls asleep under the practice. And then he's still wondering why we are arguing. Well, I'm serious, so you cannot work; of course, there is a debate if he does not pay attention here!  
He did it all again at the last minute! Perhaps if he does not write down every tomfoolery for the fans every few minutes, then he would be time for us too! He would not sleep constantly because he was tired. Because it's like we're all rested ... He should learn not to leave nothing to the last minute. I'm bored already, he is asleep or nervous because some of the abstract fans on the net are writing in his name, bombed with personal or offensive questions and he will be angry. Well, please, what do you expect in today's world? He knew what he was doing, what did he complain about? He knows well how it works, then what he complains about?_

 

**Aoi**

_... Pain, he’s every word is hurt. Why can he hurt me only? I do not understand ... What did I hurt him? But I am happy when he write up. Those words that are so rare and enjoyable ... I do not know why, but I still feel that I can never hear those sentences anymore. The sentences that make me happy in my gray days. In vain the hope, it does not last forever ... once everything is over, no exceptions ..._

 

**Uruha**

_Slowly a year has passed since Yuut banned away from Twitter by the manager. So finally he can pay attention but still cannot write normal songs. I do not start to understand why he is with us then? It is a miracle he learned to read a song over the years. His skill is as good as a guitarist playing in a small band. It's a miracle if he can fold a normal song that reaches our standard. But at least he put one off to this albums. He can feel sorry for himself because he is the poor little Aoi and we are the evil stepmothers. But for what ... It’s will be a time to grow up from the fairy tales and not run home to cry after I put in a word to him. If he does not like it, then just get out! Without him, we would be better. There would not be someone who would pull us off._

 

**Aoi**

_It's silence again ... we could talk like we used to be when we were together. But it is unnecessary because there is nothing to talk about. I used to be naive and hopeful, but now I've realized that this is just a donkey effect._  
_Today I'm tired of playing ass too because I'm just it is in his eyes. He wasn't like this before. But as fame has come, Kouyou has changed. He does not talk to me anymore except when he is very bored and nobody around, but professional kinds of stuff only_  
_Today's concert is overwhelmed, so I'm just lying in bed looking out the window in the light of his little lamp. When the door opens, the smell of cigars and alcohol smothering. That's how I know he came in. "Do you sleep?" He raises the question, but I have no power to speak or move to give any sign of my wake. He turns on the ceiling light and goes to the balcony where he pleasantly lights up, and I just look at him._  
_For a while, Takanori and the others had tried to get him back, but in the end, they get tired of the many controversies. The band is important to them, but for me my friend too._  
_"No," I finally say, softly under from the blanket, which overlies me. When he looks back, our eyes meet for a moment. His face is bitter with a smile, from his gaze regrets and disdain is reflected as he looks at me, then turns his gaze to the sky._

 

**Uruha**

_Many little ass-kissers screaming outside waiting for us before the concert. Hairdressers, makeup makers, stylists ... think they're worth something, but they do not. They would not be without us, and in contrast to us, they could be replaced._  
_Under the concert fans are looking at me and screaming my name, although I think a certain layer is not interested in the music, only just us, I do not care. Pathetic. Anytime they would open their legs for me. Vodka with cigarettes, while a whore sucking your cock, the best couple after a concert. I had a quick time with the cigarettes and the bitch. Who knows, that knows. Before bed, I even smoked a last one. Yuu is pathetic. I send a contemptuous look at him. But at least he was not_ in _my ass today. If the others can learn, then he why not? I do not need him or anything else._

**Aoi**

_I'm tired, I'm tired of everything. I think I've come to the point where peoples jut can go down but I do not want to. Today I heard his voice again and that was good for me. Thank you for having a good time to sleep... Thanks for everything ... Thank you for finally being happy ..._  
_"Thank you ... Kouyou ..." I whispered his name with a faint smile as I lay on the floor with my unruly tears._  
_My body becomes lighter as the red silk completely absorbs, bypassing obstacles easily. I see your lovely smile, which lurks a new smile on my lips for the last time._

 

~~~~~~

 

**Uruha**

In the evening, I used to spend my time at my favorite bar with my expensive drink when my phone’s melody bring me back from the melancholy. On the screen, Takanori's name was flashing. I picked up the noisy object, half-heartedly.  
“Hello?”  
“Come to the central hospital right away! On the second floor, in the right wing, we wait for room 530, "he said nervously, then dropped it.  
Why I have to go to the hospital at midnight? I have no relative at that place.  
I took a taxi and then go to the place where the others were with the manager and an unknown elderly couple who were also red by the crying, especially the lady, so I looked into questioning to Akira who was waving with his head to go into the room.  
As I entered, I completely froze. Yuu was lying unconscious on the bed, he was white as the wall and filled with infusion. One blood went in, the other on the vitamins. The knitting on his wrist began to leach. Slowly, trembling I sit down beside his bed. He lies here before of me, and I wanted to blame him why he was not here. That's why...  
I do not know how much time passed when he spoke softly.  
“Kouyou ...”  
“Yuu! Do not talk. You must rest. It's because of me, right? I'm really sorry. I did not know it was going to happen. Please forgive me!” I watched him with full of tears.  
“It’s okay. It was nice to meet with you. Live happily” he drops a faint smile, then closes his eyes, followed by a steady beeping of the machines.  
“Yuu, no! Please wake up! "I shake His body by his shoulders with tears, but the doctors separate me away from him.

_He died because of me, I killed him. My friend who always fought for me, and I just woke up now, I killed the most important person to me, who could never get angry at me. My best friend to whom I lied. He never pulled us off, I was jealous because I always thought he was better than me. He always shined beside me because he was a real star. But now I have to bear the guilt and the eternal suffering until my death, hoping that perhaps he will forgive me in the after-life._


End file.
